This is all

1) It makes single people – even those toughies who will dutifully remain celibate and uncaring – self-conscious.

2) It temporarily robs single people of their social life.

3) It robs couples of their cash.

4) It unnecessarily creates more cardboard waste that the UK government will ‘recylce’ by locking it up in a big container somewhere and forgetting about it.

5) It’s discriminatory to singletons because it reinforces the ideal that everyone needs to be partnered off at the next available  opportunity.

6) It’s self-perpetuating

7) It’s a completely fabricated ‘Hallmark Holiday’ that is neither a holiday (unless singletons secretly hate their coupled friends) nor has any basis in the history of Western or any other culture.

8) ‘Couples should love each other all the time’

9) It’s another date men have to remember. [not sexist because while both male and females have to remember it, women will generally do so automatically while men will struggle and have to be aware of the relentless media and press coverage]

10) The relentless media and press coverage.

11) The ‘St Valentine’s Day for singles’ events that pop up everywhere which, while posing as ‘it’s okay to be single’ events are really either (a) ‘it’s okay to be single but we want to partner you up’ events or (b) ‘it’s okay to be single but we’re only making a special, derogatory and patronising effort to say so today in case you are feeling wonwey, diddums’.

12) It gives relatives an excuse to remind you you’re single and say things like ‘are you sending/receiving any Valentine’s cards/gifts/flowers’, or pointing out the options of the evil perpetrators of #11

13) It highlights either one of the major faux pas of literary history or literary interpretation, where Geoffrey Chaucer managed to create what would become a multi-billion dollar (worldwide, so lets use $) industry by writing the lines

For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

(Parliament of Foules)

14) It puts singletons (okay, me) off doing anything productive to fight back until the day after…

REASONS TO KEEP ST VALENTINES DAY

1) It means that Roger Corman’s St Valentine’s Day Massacre increases in popularity (every year). Is the film any good? I’ve no idea, but the title at least vents some of our (non-innuendous) frustrations.